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Cannabis as Medicine: Their Pills Made Me Suicidal

The pharmaceuticals were altering my mind, but using cannabis as medicine changed everything.

Editor’s Note: Any testimonials or endorsements found on this site are for anecdotal purposes only. The information in Rxleaf testimonials is not intended as direct medical advice, nor should it be relied upon as a substitute for consultations with qualified healthcare professionals who are intimately knowledgeable about your individual medical needs.
I was born in Corpus Christi, Texas and my age is 46 years old. I was diagnosed about 10 to 12 years ago with acute anger disorder, explosive anger disorder, bipolar disorder, PTSD, and uncontrolled epilepsy. It’s definitely been a struggle for my wife and I, my children, friends, and coworkers. At one point in my life I was taking up to about 18 pharmaceutical medications daily due to my medical conditions. There were times when I was taking multiple medications for my anger and explosive anger issues; It seemed like nothing was working. We constantly were calling the doctor stating that my anger is out of control. My moods were definitely all over the place, from yelling and screaming to even threatening people. My life was just so completely out of whack, and it just seemed like medications were just making me worse. I gained a lot of weight taking the medications, I went from 170 lb to 216 lb. My family got to the point to where they really didn’t want to even talk to me because they were scared that I was going to yell at them, or accuse them of doing things that weren’t even going on.

The Medications Were Altering My Mind

The medications were altering my mind, making me feel like people were against me. It made me feel like I was worthless. I didn’t want to live, suicide was always on my mind. In fact, I did attempt suicide twice, by overdose with prescription drugs. After, I was admitted into Mesilla Valley psychiatric ward from the first attempt of suicide, I was in there for about 2 or 3 weeks. I did intensive therapy. I could feel my body going through lots of changes due to withdrawals from the painkillers. With the psychiatric medicine that they had me on, it was basically like I kept going in this circle, repeating myself over and over again. Nothing was getting better, nothing was changing.

Hooked On Opioids For Pain

When I was discharged, they put me back on psychiatric meds. Everything that I was taking before, that put me in the situation I was in to begin with.

They had me on Xanax, lithium, tegretol, hydrocodone, Percocets, oxycontin, lamictal, keppra, depakote, Dilantin, and yes all of these.

I felt like a walking pharmaceutical company. If you cut me, I’d bleed out all the mind alternating, suicidal thinking, weight-gaining, medicine you needed. That’s truly the way I felt.

Another interesting fact about my health while I was taking all of the prescription pharmaceutical meds, was for some reason it made my blood pressure go to the roof. Soon after I was prescribed all the medication my blood pressure jumped up to 198/101 and that stayed consistent. I developed a condition called AFib of the heart. It was uncontrollable with the medication they prescribed me.

So, I had to have a cardiac ablation done twice (not to mention I have a loop recorder in my chest monitoring my heart at all times now), it just makes no dang sense. If pharmaceutical medicine is so good, then why do people have so many negative reactions, and gain more health issues, upon ingesting these medications? It makes no sense to me whatsoever.

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Opioid Withdrawal is Brutal

What really made it difficult for me taking pharmaceutical medicine was when I really got hooked on opioids for pain. Once your body gets used to a certain drug, it craves it! It needs it!

You begin to sweat uncontrollably. You get very angry, you get nauseous, panic attacks, and then you start thinking of any kind of an excuse you can come up with to go to your doctor and get something to take away the cravings. When I was addicted, I was able to get a bottle of Percocets (10mg of 60) and be done with it in 3 days, only to find myself back at the doctor’s office asking for hydrocodone just so the insurance company would approve it, because it was a different type of opioid.

I did that for years, I was so addicted to it.

“I Couldn’t Even Remember What I Needed It For”

The sad part about it was I didn’t even have pain anymore. I couldn’t even remember what I needed it for. My body was so twisted, like I was tangled up in a tumble weed. Everything that was coming at me would get tangled up like, feelings, thoughts, and I would began to question myself  – if I even wanted to live.

I got to the point where I couldn’t sleep at night so I was popping pills through the night until one day, I decided enough was enough and I would try to overdose on Ambien (a sleeping pill) with Percocets and Xanax.

I believe I took 3 Ambien 10 mg six Percocets 10 mg and I believe the Xanax was .5mg.

We went to a barbecue at my mother-in-law’s. I was doing things saying things they just were not making no sense, slurring my words, talking to myself, and was just acting like nothing in the world even existed but me and that I was dozing in and out.

“I Just Couldn’t Take It”

My wife and my kids got me home, put me to bed, and kept watching me through the night and the next day. My wife asked me “What I was doing? And “What was I on?” So I told her the truth.

I said just couldn’t take it no more, and that I wanted to kill myself. My wife gave me an ultimatum – either I get help in rehab or she was leaving me and the kids were going with her.

So I admitted myself into a Roswell Treatment Center. I completed my treatment and never went back to prescription painkillers.

That was a hardest thing I ever went through was getting off of opioids. Nothing else in the world can compare to the feeling that you go through. As time went on I continued to take my seizure meds, and continue to have uncontrolled seizures, but when none of it was working I was having up to 4 to 5 seizures at a time and these were the grand mal seizures. They’re horrible after they’re done.

Your body feels like you were hit by a truck and every muscle in your body hurts, down to your toes, even your fingertips because you would contract so bad. There were times what I would cry and just want to die.

“You Can’t Call Using Cannabis as a Medicine a Drug”

That all happened until my daughter and my son-in-law talked to me about cannabis.

At first I was like “no I’m not going to do drugs.” And they came back at me and said you can’t call cannabis a drug – it’s a natural medicine. “It can stop your seizures, help you with your pain, help you with your bipolar, your PTSD, your anger disorders, you name it, it will help you.”

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I didn’t believe it, but when the seizures wouldn’t stop, my anger and my depression and moods were getting unbearable for my family and people all around me. So, my wife and I discussed it, and we decided to give it a try.

And I promise you it was like instantly, I had no more seizures, I was calm, I wasn’t angry, things didn’t get on my nerves, I didn’t feel any kind of panic attacks, didn’t feel like the world was after me, and I didn’t feel or think about killing myself anymore.

I felt normal. And I didn’t have to rely on any pharmaceutical drug that was slowly killing me from the inside out.

“I Didn’t Feel like Killing Myself Anymore”

Soon, I went to my doctor’s for a follow-up and they asked me how my medicines were working.

I looked at my doctor straight in the face and said “I don’t take that medicine any more. I’ve been off of it now for over 30 days. I feel fine, my blood pressure is back to normal, my aggression has eased, I don’t have panic attacks as much anymore, I don’t have memic episodes anymore, and my seizures are down to maybe once a month if even that.”

Then explained to them that I had started taking medical cannabis. That I had my medical card and that it’s a miracle medicine that I would highly recommend it to anybody (even children) that have medical issues like I did.

I felt that if I could share my story, and tell people the miracle that cannabis medicine performed on my life, that it will help save other lives, unlike pharmaceutical medication that kills people daily. Medical cannabis cannot and will not kill anybody, it’s totally impossible.

I highly recommend it for anybody.

Different Strains for Different Needs

There are different strains you can use for different different medical reasons, all you have to do is research.

Life is too short to put things in your body that will kill you.

Why not use something positive, that works for you in positive healthy ways, and gives your life back instead of destroying your life, like taking pharmaceutical drugs.

Does that make sense? See at first my wife was skeptical about me taking it, because she was raised in the ’80s and at that time TV had all the commercials stating how bad marijuana is bad for you, from the old “it fries your brain,” “nothing good comes out of it,” blah blah blah, that’s all it is.

Cannabis is simply just a miracle medicine, and that’s it.

It was put on the earth from God, it’s a natural herb. They used it back then, and we should all use it now. It saved my life!

That’s basically all I can say. I grow my own medicine, I don’t have a specific kind of cannabis I smoke, I like to use high levels of THC which controls my pain. CBD helps control my outbursts of anger, blood pressure, and my arthritis inflammation.

But I recently underwent lower lumbar back surgery. I had l4 and l5 fused together. After the surgery they had me so doped up with painkillers and sedated I didn’t know what was going on. They kept telling me to breathe –  I guess it was because I was in so much pain I was holding my breath. I really don’t know, because I don’t remember. That’s how much my mind was altered by their drugs.

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The Pain Went Away – Thanks to My “Miracle Cannabis Medicine”

The next day I told him I did not want to use their medication because it was making me severely constipated, it was making me to where I didn’t want to get up and move I was staying focused on all the pain I was in I was miserable.

My son showed up with his cannabis oil vape. Right away I asked him for it and I started pulling from it and within a matter of minutes the nausea went away, the sweating went away, the pain went away.

I was able to get up start my walking. I was determined to focus on getting better.

But I couldn’t do that with their medication. As soon as I started using the cannabis oil from the pen it was all easy from there. I was doing things by the second day that people normally do by the second or third week, because cannabis has such great healing power in it. I can’t even begin to describe it, but believe me it does work – I’m living proof.

“The Doctors Didn’t Even Believe It”

The doctors couldn’t even believe it. I smoke my cannabis, and I’ll use the wax every once in a while; But my choice is to smoke it. I like the effect to hit me instantly especially when I’m in pain, or if I feel like I’m having a panic attack.

I know all I have to do is roll one up and smoke it. In a few short minutes I’m calm and normal. I can function and go into society with no problems.

Cannabis as medicine has changed my life for the better. I’m more energetic with my family. I go out in public with no problems. I get along with people no problem. And I don’t feel like people are after me to get me.

My wife and I are madly in love again. I can listen so clearly to her now. I’m able to play with my grandchildren, and do things to the point that my body will allow. Even after back surgery.

Disability Doesn’t End Your Life

The fact that I’m on disability for the rest of my life because of epilepsy and other health issues doesn’t mean I can’t enjoy my life.

As of now, life for me couldn’t be better.

I love myself, I love who I’m married to, I love my children, my grandchildren, I love my life. And it’s all because of that miracle medicine called cannabis. If it wasn’t for cannabis my life would have probably ended years ago. The grace of God and the miracle medicine he provides us saved my life.

This is a true story. Cannabis is definitely a miracle as medicine. I would never put it in a category as a drug – it’s not.

I promise you if you have PTSD, anger issues, cancer, explosive anger disorder, arthritis, depression, or anything, do yourself and your family the best thing you could ever do, try cannabis medicine and watch what wonders it does for you. Look into what saved my life. God bless, and I hope this miracle medicine helps someone else as much as it helped me and changed my life.